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How to Build Healthy Couple Life

Relation is made in heaven. Couples too are made in the heaven. They are just as actors sent to the earth for a limited period by the direction of the God. Hence, they should realize the truth that, they are sent and made for each other. Therefore, both of them should be efficient and skillful while playing their role pre-destined in the heaven, failing which their short-stay on this earth would be miserable. It indicates that, they are needed for each other.

While building a successful couple life, one should be above high expectation. Because high expectation leads to psychological imbalance, consequently relation is broken. Sometimes it leads to ill-incidence like:- divorce, committing suicide etc. . Here, it should be noted that, couples are united through a social function called ‘Marriage’. Here, marriage means a “Mental Association for Rehabilitation and Reorganizing an Institution Arranged by God forever”. Hence, only through proper psychological analysis of both the minds one can make this sacred arrangement. Hence, in other words, “marriage” means ‘Study of mind’, because emotion flows from mind, which cements relation. Once relation is cemented, capacity of tolerance is generated. As a result, they respect and care for each other, feel each other’s importance, do not ignore each other’s view. Consequently, they realize the importance of sacrifice which increases the dignity of life. Both of them surrender and accept each other unconditionally. Which lead to a healthy couple life.

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WHY SHOULD ONE BE SLOW AND STEADY? 

There is a popular saying, “slow and steady wins the race”. Hence, we normally accept that to achieve something we must go slowly and steadily. But, from the philosophical point of view, this proverb means to stand against adversities of life with care and love. Because, only through care and love, one can unveil the obscurity and can go ahead willfully, which we call, “self-initiated patience”.  Here, one must be clear that unless one is willfully self-motivated and interested in something, no success follows it. Again, this interest must have a systematic, affirmative and expanding horizon to denote irrational things, which puts the young mind in the turmoil of vicissitude. This philosophy is nothing but an energy hub that energises one to face challenges of life. It is a kind of strength that fills one very often but never kills one any day.

It is a symbol of all round growth and development through trial and error method that follows some kind of success and experiences. Here, one’s experience is more important than success through continuity. A prolonged effort is more important than stagnation. This philosophy emphasises that one should not quit a trial that enriches him with different kinds of experiences that generate several theories of life. History has several examples of this. Hence, we must see our success slowly but steadily through the cultivation of patience. It is a set of rule that one should follow with care and curiosity through which the path of progress is on. Curiosity is the mother of invention. It is a kind of encouragement that makes one perspective, optimistic and affirmative. Right presentation puts one on the path of progress through understanding. Let’s experience this philosophy through our young generation who can motivate the world with their active organs.  

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HOW CAN ONE ENRICH HIMSELF WITH HIGHER VALUES OF LIFE? 

One can enrich himself with higher values of life through the good company or SATSANGHA that supports one with appropriate thoughts and thus, makes one soul conscious through the process of self-analysis. Here, one can cultivate noble principles of life through GYANAMARGA, honesty and absolutism. It keeps our mind positive through three principles or methods, such as–

1. We can cultivate our mind with positive spirit through nature beauty freely available to us as the gift of the God.

2. We can purify our mind with the help of a right human, which we usually call MAHAPURSHA or the great man. Here, his special higher quality awakens us from age-old slumber and prejudice.

3. Right books enrich our mind too with a noble approach to life and thus, make us spiritually conscious of fighting against obscurity of thoughts.

We can consider the above three sources as the fountains of knowledge, by which we rule ourselves always. Higher values of life that come through the SATSANGHA make us blissful and blessed. It is an opportunity that comes very rare. Hence, one must execute his mind through it. It has a powerful psychological impact on our mind too that brings out all negative thoughts, enriches our understanding capacity and above all keeps our judgement unaffected. It brings a sea change in our thought process through consciousness. It awakens us through a mental status of absolutism. Our strong will power keeps us away from illusion (Maya) through SATSANGHA only. Everyone can take pleasure of the SATSANGA through self-practice, practice with others help, practice through one to one principle and practice in a group. These stages correspond to four ages likSatya-yuga, Traitaya-yuga, Dwapar-yuga and Kali-yuga. 

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 Why should one know the Veda?

The Veda means “very essential document having authenticity”, a very essential discourse that affirms everyone for a peaceful disciplined divine life. Its divinity modulates our life if properly understood. We can divide it into four parts. The Rig-Veda contains 10552-slokas.The Sam-Veda contains 1875-slokas. The Yajur-Veda contains 1975-slokas. The Atharva-Veda contains 5977. The total number of the slokas in the four Vedas are 20379 only. These slokas represent the then socio- economic and political scenarios through various examples and thus, inspires the posterity for a happy prosperous life. It teaches about the living process through tranquillity. Its austerity never denotes any unpleasant situations rather it authorises the readers for proper understanding of a right living style. It is a treasure house of law. It has different interpretations of life to the need of time and exigency. It extracts many things from nature, represents the energy sources as the Gods and Goddess just to discipline the human life through love and sacrifices. It reforms the posterity and us, puts everything in a positive direction. However, one should understand its positive sense rightly while interpreting its slokas. It purifies our mind and sets it on a right track. It comes us through different branches of the Vedic literature like the Upanishads, Vedanta, Vedanga, Aranyaka, Shruti and Smriti. Chhanda is a special feature of the Vedas throughout its total slokas numbered 20379. Let us accept and examine it from the core of its existence. It would definitely strengthen our moral strength to fight against every adversity that comes on the way of progress.                 

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HOW CAN ONE FILL HIMSELF THROUGH EMPTINESS? 

Emptiness is not a curse, rather, it is a blessing of the God. It makes one enriched, blissful and inspires to enjoy the real beauty of life through silence. It enriches one with all kind of essential motivational positive thoughts that keeps our mind young always. It keeps our mind, intellect, intuition and thought in a single basket to get success in life. It acts as a coordinator to find peace of life. It picks up right thoughts and expectations out of many through silence only. It is the symbol of creation. It helps one for self-analysis through right understanding and thus, makes one soul conscious, which is the real goal of life.  It generates an opportunity to progress and inspires to utilise resources available with us. It is a symbol of greatness and holds the entire universe. It reforms our desires through logical approach through its greatness.

One can pass through stress and strain when becomes empty. Because emptiness fills us with Godly particles, which are the real source of progress. Emptiness and beauty always go together. Because it makes one open and fills. Then it expands one in the timeline. It generates SHRADDHA within nothing and thus, makes one curious to go further. Hence, history has produced many discoverers and inventors. Had they been filled before, our world would not have been progressed.  Openness and expansion keep one away from the prejudice that fills one with apprehension. But, emptiness swallows our prejudice through newness and thus, saves our mind from stress. Again, it initiates one too to for perseverance, which we call TAPA. It enhances our pain bearing capacity, because, TAPA means the capacity of tolerance and a kind of art for pain management. 

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WHY DOES ANGER COME IN THE HUMAN? 

The Bhagavata Geeta says-

“DHYAYATO VISHAYANPUMSAH SAMGASTHESHOOPAYAYATE;

SAMGATSANJAYATE KAMAH KAMATKRODHOBHIJAYATE”

The human revolves rounds desire. He/she cannot go above desire unless he/she is a great soul like- BUDHA or JAINA etc. Here, expectations are many. One cannot fulfil them always. Hence, when he/she fails to fulfil his/her desires or expectations anger comes in him/her.

Desires are like horses. Hence, one must control them as that of the horses. Now, let's see, what do we understand y desire? Desires are of different kinds; but, broadly we can divide them into two categories, such as- physical desire and emotional desire.

All kinds of physical comforts come under physical desire it is basically material based. We can experience it through different materials needed to make our life comfortable. Those are television, radio, air-conditioner etc. But, emotional desire is feeling based or psychology-based. This kind of desire consists of love, relation, kindness etc. We need it to create a psychological bond irrespective of materials needed for physical comfort. Nevertheless, in both the cases, the human experiences desire, which we call expectation. Hence, when a human falls in either of the cases, anger generates in him/her.

There is a saying- to give advice to others is a sin. Hence, anger comes to teenagers, when we advise them or suggest them for something, which goes against their sweet will. But, they cannot realise it. The Geeta says-

“YATTADAGRE VISHAMIVA PARINAMEMRUTOPAMAM;

TATSUKHAM SATTWIKAM PROKTAMATMABUDDHIPRASADAJAM”

Now, let's see, how previous birth plays a great role in creating anger in a human. It is said, the enmity between two persons is caused in the present time considering the debt of one’s previous birth. A person takes birth repeatedly on the earth to repay the debt of his previous birth- may be good or bad. When he/she repays the good things he/she becomes the “SATWIKA”; when he/she repays the bad things he/she is the “TAMASIKA”.

Anger comes to both old and young due to generation gap too. Hence, the old should understand the young psychology to bridge the gap that causes anger and vice-versa. We should behave children softly while controlling anger. We should give different examples to them while controlling their anger. We must consider them as our junior friends. Besides that, we must infuse spiritual values in them to bridge the gap between them and us. Spiritual value enhances patience in human. Prayer and meditation enhance our patience. Hence, the role of prayer and meditation is indispensable to control one’s anger. One’s temper must be within the control that causes anger too; because, if one loses his/her temper he/she becomes angry, we lose temper very often due to self-ego. We call it “ATMAABHIMANA”. One should be determined to control anger; because the power of determination helps to increase patience in a human. There is a saying-

“ÊVÉºÉ Eäò +Ænù®ú ÊvÉ®úVÉ ½þiÉÉ,

<Ç·É®ú EòÉ °ü{É ´É½þÉä iÉÉä ½þiÉÉ*”

Self-assessment too helps to control anger. One should be above victory and defeat while controlling anger. Children should not be unnecessarily opposed that causes anger in them. 

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WHY SHOULD THE BODY AND MIND GO TOGETHER? 

Our body and mind must go together to realise happiness, which we call the ANANADA. It is a management science of present energy source. Our mind produces different thoughts every movement, which the body usually cannot coordinate. Sometimes, the mind goes to future and sometimes to the past. But, the body remains in the present only. Hence, the human cannot realise the real happiness (Ananda), which we call ‘the God’. It is just a state of mind or Godly particles that one should experience in the present only. Because, future has no certainty, which we call a promissory note; the past has no existence, which is a cancelled cheque. Hence, one cannot realise the past or future in the real sense. It is just an apprehension that puts one in the turmoil of confusion. Here, one loses his absolutism.

One must remember here that present is not simple a word, rather it is a devotional doing attitude. It is just a focused calculation that keeps one away from apprehension. It fills one with affirmation, newness, absolutism, neutrality, determination, appreciation. If we combine together the above words, it becomes ANANDA.

It is above space and time. It is the SWABHABA of the human that comes spontaneously. One cannot love others in the true sense in its absence. One cannot even behave others properly without it. It is the real knowledge that leads one to materialise the dream. It tunes the soul in the universe. It brings changes in the human. This change comes through reflection on the face of the human every time. This acts as a protector to protect us from unnecessary tension. It never allows any ugly thought to enter into the mind and thus, keeps us blissful. The human becomes a benevolent creature as a result of this. Let’s experience it once. 

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HOW TO ATTAIN SATISFACTION?

Satisfaction comes out of success. Success comes out of hard labour. Hard labour ensures future. Ensure future encourages a person to fix his real goal. Once, the goal is fixed, he/she focuses his/her attention to achieve it. Fixed attention helps one to reach there. Once a person reaches his goal, satisfaction comes to him.  Hence, success, satisfaction, aim and attainment are four factors that lead to happiness.

Hence, to attain satisfaction one must have continuous effort. Sometimes, it appears impossible; but, if one is spiritually strong, it becomes easier for him. Now, let's see, how to attain spiritual power and how to develop it? One can make himself spiritually strong by contributing his time and labour in different ways. This contribution is of different kinds. One can contribute his time, his labour, his money and material etc. But, this contribution must not be for the unwanted purpose. That means, he should contribute them to a right person, failing which it would be “APATRE DANA”. 

Here, we should note that some get satisfaction by getting something by force. But, it is not the right kind of satisfaction. We call it the sadistic pleasure. This kind of satisfaction or pleasure causes loss to others either mentally or materially and sometimes causes physical and mental assault. This kind of satisfaction is temporary. 

Hence, to get heavenly satisfaction, one must be honest to observe the real need of the people. Here, one should note that a real satisfaction comes from the inspiration of the good souls. One cannot satisfy everyone every time. Hence, good souls do their duties sincerely without waiting for consequences, which gives them satisfaction. The Geeta describes it in the “KARMA TATWA”.  To attain satisfaction good souls compromise small matters very often. But, in the name of compromise one should not exploit the good souls; because nobody has signed any contract to satisfy others in spite of all his difficulties. After a certain level one cannot even continue his/her duty to the satisfaction of others; because duty does not mean exploitation; rather we can say duty is a kind of responsibility

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HOW CAN ONE BECOME AN ICONIC FIGURE?

It is difficult to become an iconic figure. Because one needs initiation for it. Initiation follows self-confidence and self-confidence follows success. Here, determination power makes us confident to go against adversity. Adversity is a challenge for an iconic figure. While facing challenges of life, one must accept both victories and vanquish with an equal footing. He must understand, dream and possibility cannot go together easily unless one puts sincere effort. Hence, an iconic figure needs to exercise his intuition carefully to organise necessary imputes consciously while proving his ability. He must be performance oriented rather be ornamental. We call it, thought management ability.

This thought management ability becomes effective through decentralisation of work that an iconic figure should follow strictly that gets him into success. Again, he must infuse teams spirit among his followers not being biased by any outer element. His learning ability, eagerness to act, attitude to perform, demonstration power, empathetic attitude and above all responsibility towards action would definitely make one an iconic figure.

A solution-oriented mind always brings glory and laurel to the nation. Because through solution only, one becomes sociable to all that keeps one away from worry even in chaos.  Thus, it helps to develop individuality, which otherwise we call PURUSARTHA. This PURUSARTHA   is a key factor of an iconic figure. Hence, one must be solution-oriented to prove his PURUSARTHA that makes him an iconic figure. One can cultivate these principles irrespective of sex, caste, creed and religion. Let’s experience it once.